i never thought i feel this way. honestly. this isn't me. i am not like this and i wish i am never gonna be. what i've taught myself before, what daddy has taught me and what mum always said, everything seems to be pretty good at first. it were all good and i think, it still is. i shall never ever forget those. i listened to what they've said. often we heard, experiences are the best teacher in the world..well if it's true, i'm eager to meet this teacher, to seek knowledge from this teacher.teach me, guide me and lead me.
a lot has to be sacrified.and it's not as easy as we thought it would be.never. instead, it's much harder, not just the hurtful pain, but the drugs are terribly, awfully bitter.the ingredients of life are almost similar for each of us.it's the matter of how well we mix the ingredients.or how bad we did the mixing of it.we choose the colour, the taste and the texture of it. it solely depend on our preference, our needs and wants.whatever it is, it's our own life that we're messing up. but not for all, some are just perhaps greedy or envy with our mixtures, causing a catastrophe to our life. they throw away some of their unwanted ingredients into our mixtures.treating us like a garbage can with no feelings.
yes.i do forgive but i do not forget.sometimes i questioned, is this the repayment? of being thoughtful, of being tolerance? i must listen to those people, they're definitely right when it comes to this matter, as the saying goes.."world is cruel". it's undoubtedly true.
what have i done wrong? someone must answer this for me for i'm not perfect, i'm no good than the rest.correct me if i'm wrong, tell me the right way to do it or else i'll end up doing the same mistakes again and again. i'm still learning and forgive me for my mistakes. i pray for good things in life, i pray for forgiveness, i pray for God to give me strength for i'm weak, and most importantly, i pray for a happy life and afterlife. God is fair but they told me life isn't. i want to blame myself this time and i hate to accuse others. i've become embittered. the unfairness haunted my mind, challenge my belief, my stance, my principle.i'm annoyed and irritated. i never dare to question.as i'm afraid of the answers.give me some time and i shall find the truth, the anwers to all these riddles, even if it hurts me mostly.
