am i right?

problems comes when you start running away from it

damn it!
i hate u

setahun itu sekejap

3 more days to 2011

sekejapnye setahun

2010 punye azam pun x habis buat lagi ;o

jack sparrow :)

guess who kidnapped me??





hohohohohoh...


the all time favourite


mr hotty...





johnny depp~~~


weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~


clap clap clap :D :D :D

oh johnny johnny johnny

how sweet of you...kidnapping me :)

it was the sweetest dream..hahahah..thank you johnny

thank you thank you thank you

thank you... again :) hahah

okay, firstlyyy i have NO IDEA why the heck johnny came into my dream. i didn't see any of his movie recently, (yea, but i did looked up some of his old movies..google-ing as usual).

it was damn funny. i was in the movie set, belakon jadi niece to this one couple, a dato' and a datin..hahahah weird gile. anyways, there i was having lunch with my super rich aunt and uncle. makan kat restaurant in a five-star hotel okayyy..and oh ade watak sampingan, we were actually having lunch with their business partner. and ketika sedang enak menjamu selera, (i remember it was dessert that time) capten jack sparrow came to our table!! jack sparrow tau, jgn main2, haaa siap dengan pedang2 lagi..gile merapu. lalu si jack sparrow dgn macho-nye, menikam table kitorg..

"give me the money, or else i'll take her (refers to me :D) with me" said capten jack sparrow ( dgn nada hott dan machoo) hahaha melting gile time nih

while my aunt and uncle and his business partner menggeletar ketakutan, i SMILE like that was the most happiest moment of my life.. rase cam scene time marriage proposal pulak ( berangan abg johnyy proposed me to marry him in a very nice and romantic hotel restaurant :P )

so i replied,
"oh take me with you, this man(refers to the business partner) is a liar! ..(err liar ke pirate ke apa ntah aku tuduh mamat tuh..)
tetibe je si business partner tuh jd org jahat :P and si johnny jd hero :) me like me like

okay pastuh tetibe je cm ade moment bisik-bisik with my aunt..
my aunt was like.." hani, apa ni?? ni kan kawan uncle.."
me : "...ermm aunty johnyy deppp ni..u know how much i love himm..c'mon, make him a hero..seeee, he's lookin at me.. eh aunty, my face ok kan? nmpak natural kan???..." *batting eyelashes*

sumpah aku gedik!!! HAHAHAHA
berangan tak ingat dunia~~

but i remember only until that part
pastuh johnny just grab my hand and we ran away..how sweet kan??? :P

and we live happily ever after... *berangan lagi*
ok mestila happily ever after weyyy
it's johnny depp we're talking about..hahaha
okay dah hani, stop it..

okay mimpi dah habis :)
goodbye my lover~~background music lagu james blunt tuh ;p

google~

cerita bermula di sini...

in my room, 11.30pm
was googling the tourist spot in NZ
and amar yg kebosanan sedang bermain psp
just beside me
and suddenly...

amar: haaa, kite tau nak tengok apa
me: apa???
amar: meh sini kite google
me: okay *ish budak budak ni kecik2 dah pandai google2* adik sapa la ni..hahah ;p

ok then amar typed some guy name which i have no idea who are they
Google search: kevin doyle

me: WHO the heckk??? haha
amar: haaa...kite tengok eh dia ni, dia ni bla bla bla bla bla bla........he went on talking bout this guy, he's a football player and what not...bla bla bla...talented player and handsome too..bla bla bla...
play for this team, and after that that team and now this team..bla bla bla... and he's an irish

me: IRISH?? yeayyyy~~!! hahahah *only this part got me excited* muahahah
amar: haaaa..kan kite dah cakap mesti kak hani suka punya..ala dia ni la baru best kan kan???

dan mula lah sesi menge-stalk gamba si kevin ni...

amar: hensem tak??
me: ye, hensem
amar: haaa, bagus, kalau macam tu kak hani boleh kawin dengan dia :D
me: ha?? kawen!!
amar: laaa, kak hani kata dia hensem :D
me: memang laaa tapi....
amar: haaa..tu ok la, pastuh suruh dia masuk islam, ha, kena suruh dia bercerai dulu dengan isteri pertama dia..
me: amar..apa amar merepek nih??
amar: *diam dan tersenyum*
me: *seriously, seronok rupa2nye jadi budak2 ni, cakap apa2 pun mcm possible jek*
me: hahah..senang2 je amar nak suruh dia bercerai, kalau dia tak nak macam mana?
amar: jadi isteri kedua :D
me: *hell NO* errr..tak nak laaa

amar: kan dia orang putih, haaa..best apa kawin orang putih :D

okay, tell me how do i reply that statement????
"err...ermm..memang la dia hensem and dia org putih ermmm tapi..errr...."
tu je yg aku bole jawab
gile susah nak jawab
lagi susah dp nk jwb soalan tutor pasal design philosophy aku =.='

amar: ala...apa yg susahnye kak hani ni...hissshhhhh
me: okay jom kita tido nak?? :p

unknown

dalam banyak2 masa,
time ni la kene tanye

nak jawab,
speechless,
tak nak jawab,
macam rude je,

so nak buat apa?
lie to yourself

the hardest

i've tried my best not to have that feelings inside me
i've tried so hard
but i've failed

though i accept failure most of the times,
it was not the same for this.
unacceptable,
beyond any failure i could ever imagine
though it wasn't really bad after all

everything
but not this

tears didn't help me much like they always do

dear november

i just can't wait to go home
dear november, i need u~~

tipu

bukan x nak percaya
tapi kadang kadang memang x boleh elak perasaan tu
sorry
:(

rindu

saya rindu kawan baik saya :'(

cheq balik rumah mak mertua naaaa

warning: post ni tiada kene mengena dengan sesiapa.harap maklum.sekadar melepas perasaan homesick :)



lagi few more days nak raya :') and i must admit i'm soooooooooooo jealous dengan orang orang di malaysia..sebab raya makan sedap sedap sampai x ingat dunia

these past few days i was asked the SAME question over and over again. TAK SUKE tau x?

"raya balik dak?"

"raya mana taun ni?"

"awat x balik ka?"

"eh raya x balik? lagu mana?"

"hang x cuti ka?"

ok.saya tak cuti.saya study kat Australia.lecturer/tutor saya x tau kita raya. saya x cuti tapi kebetulan pada hari raya saya tiada kelas. so, saya boleh je raya cume saya x balik Malaysia. yes i repeat, saya tak balik Malaysia. saya tak cuti. TAK CUTI. dan tiket kapal terbang yang berharga beratus ratus aussie dollar tu sangat mahal oleh itu saya tak mampu nak terbang balik. Australia bukan lah terletak di seberang jalan rumah saya. Australia JAUH.ok xdela jauh sangat kalau tengok world map, tapi jauh la jugak.in conclusion, saya x balik.ok,kaunter pertanyaan ditutup.

ok now tell me how to repeat skema jawapan di atas setiap kali orang tanya.penat+sedih.emo jap.

so apabila malas nak melayan karenah manusia manusia ini dan kerana saya terlalu emo to repeat those answers, i came up with new answer,

"oh cheq x balik raya tahun ni, tahun ni giliran rumah dia, kene ikut suami, raya rumah mak mertua la pagi raya tu.."

haaaaaaaaaaa..amek..raya rumah husband ku yang tak wujud lagi
hahaha.geram.ok kene faham perasaan orang x boleh balek raya.dia bengong sket.that refers to me.haihh.

when there's too much

boleh tak?

why make it so hard?
tak mintak banyak pun
susah sangat ke?
susah ke?
susah ke?

ok.emo :(
better get some chocolates

ok.homesick.nak balik.

from the very first day i came to adelaide, i said to myself, "ok, u're far far away from home now, this is your new life,so be good, jgn homesick2 cause this is ur new home, dah besaq dah pun, dah masuk uni dah pun, tok sah dok teriak2 dah, blajaq elok2, hujung taun baru boleh balek.."

ok now dah 6 bulan dah, nk msuk 7 bulan berada di bumi kangaroo, and sepanjang tu, alhamdulillah xdela homesick2 ni..

but lately tibe tibe perasaan HOMESICK tu datang :'(

sumpah nak balik!
if only i have enough money to buy flight ticket balik malaysia memang lama dh beli
tapi apakan daya, duit dalam bank SA tu bukan maken bertambah, ish!, duet habes bile material buat model :(

ok, nanges2 pun x gune sebab air mata yg berbaldi baldi ni x mampu nak beli ticket malaysia airlines yg beratus2 dollar tu.
kalau abah saya cetak duit boleh la kan balik bile2
so, terpakselah terima hakikat bahawa saya takkan balik malaysia sehingga november ni
and everyday i keep looking at the course timetable dekat notice board counting days nak balik, huhu gile desparate nak balik :(

2 MORE MONTHS..TWWWOOO MOOONTTHHSSS
and i'm so coming back
oh please make time go faster
cepatla habes assignment
cepatla habes semester
pastu balek

i miss home
i miss my family
i miss my friends
i miss my room
i miss my bed
i miss subang jaya
i miss malaysia
i miss malaysians
i miss everything..

first time

when i was in form 2, i remember flipping through pages of berita harian during the month of ramadhan and scanning through the pages of salam perantau..

back then, i said to myself.. "ish camne la diorang ni raya kat oversea? x raya rumah abah mama diorg? puasa camne? raya nanti raya kat mane?" etc etc..many questions running in my mind, tapi x penah saya dpt jawapannye..

maybe sebab takdir yg menentukan saye sendiri untuk merasa jawapan kepada soalan2 itu :)

present..here i am, in Adelaide, fasting and soon goin to celebrate aidilfitri :)

first time tak beraya dengan mama, abah n adik adik

first time tak beraya di rumah

first time tak beraya kat aloq setaq or tg karang

first time tak raya dengan tok dah n nenek

first time tak dengar bunyi mercun, main bunga api

first time raya kat negara orang

first time x merasa suasana malam raya kt kampung

and hopefully this 'first time' gives me a whole new and exciting experience.

mmg terase jeles jugak tengok orang lain balik malaysia raya but xpela..

bila lagi nak rase raya kat tempat orang kan? :D

salam perantau-gambar yang dihantar untuk tatapan rakyat malaysia..excited pulak muka masuk paper..haha..sapa sangke kan dulu tengok muke org laen, kali ni muke kite pulak ade kat page salam perantau

;)

oh lagi satu..

:D

i want somebody to tell me it's okay
i want somebody to tell me it's worth the risk i'm taking
i want somebody to hug me real tight and make me feel secure for once
okay i felt the pain and i want it no more, seriously

i hope i can always be grateful~

pelakon terbaik..or plastic

i hate it when i'm good at pretending

pretending everything's fine eventhough it's not

pretending i'm happy when deep inside i'm terribly sad

pretending i'm okay when i'm not

why do you have to do that?

why do you need to pretend that?

yes u can LIE, but please don't lie to yourself, it's the worst of all

and why suddenly you stop crying? bajet ko kuat sangat la haa!!

yes, i'm not a good actress in the end, especially to myself

i'm terribly sorry for her

are u happy when i'm not?

i'm sorry

i should've cry with you like we always did

i should've laugh with u when u're happy

i should've tell u everything's gonna be fine

i should've be with you when u needed me the most

i should've seen that coming

but u didn't see it either...

tok kata saya comel

tok kate saye comel~weee :)

ok i'm gettin fatter n fatter everyday.fullstop.
WHY?

first. sebab hari hari saya makan ayam.muke pun da mcm ayam.bende lain mahal la kat adelaide.fullstop again.

second.saya semakin suka chocolates.and recently i'm really addicted to cadbury hazelnut chocs and mars PODS.ish, tengah malam pun dok makan lagi bende2 nih :(

third.sudah 5 bulan tidak jogging! 5 months!!! dulu x jog sebulan pun dah rase gemuk gila kan, now just imagine 5 whole months of no-jog-and-only-chocolates-n-chips.

yes.i'm chubby now :) big smile

i was skyping with my family the other day once we got internet connection. it was few months after i arrived here though, so agak lama la mereka tak tengok saya :) oh and the first impression was...

"haaa...hani! tengok2, dah chubby!" dengan bunyi tekejot yg sgt lah tekejot
ok mum, dad, siblings, i'm still asma hani :) dont be too shocked, i love food more now :) heee

that was the "my family" skyping session
next, the "big family" skyping session

oh and this time, tok and cousins were there too :)
"hani tengok muke, hani tengok rambut dah panjang ke? hani tengok bilik, hani tengok katil, hani tengok itu and ini..bla bla bla.."ok saye layan je

ok tok nak cakap ni :)
"assalamualaikum hani..."
"TOKK!! wslm :) heeee......"senyum dengan lebarnye sambil buat muke comel konon2nye ;p
"apa khabaq? la..comey dah......pipi dok tembam"
opppsss..hahahaha terus speechless sambil senyum control malu

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...tu dia tok dah habaq mai..pipi dah naek lagu pau..haha
maka betul la saye dah tembam :)
but it's okay as long as i can maintain healthy lifestyle and weight :) ceh ckap mcm bole maintain je

to think of it, my diet hasn't changed much since i came here, it just that recently the autumn-winter weather makes me hungry faster than ever.blame the weather now..haha..i'm innocent, it's too cold so i get hungry ;)

tapi kesimpulannye tok cakap saye comel..haha..xde kene mengena :)

i'm satisfied

apabila orang tak reti bagi nasihat..

that's what happened






:)
thank you

it wasn't

i've been thinking a lot lately..seriously, a lot..

the idea of flying is always in my mind all this while and now too, and all i think about while studying was only flying high to the land of kangaroos and koalas, Australia. that's what drive me to study hard..the word FLYING..hah!!
hopes and dreams and a part of a well-planned future of mine. a well-planned future?? truth to be told, there was no plan. there was, but it was not this. it was only me graduating from high school and getting my spm results and go to any university which offers architecture, my one and only interest. days went by, and i got my results, thank God, good enough for me to secure a place in universities in Malaysia. Universiti Malaya was the place I suppose to go..as offer letter arrived in my mailbox, i was glad, happy and thankful that i got it. in my mind, there's only architecture, campus life and a new car.there were no kangaroos.

i was excited over UM, but not for long.another news came along.


it was a calm and wonderful morning, on my bed, when i received a call from a friend of mine...

"hani dear, morning..u tdo lagi ke?"

"haa..ye..i bru bgun..yy??"

"u bgun cepat, gi check internet, results jpa scholarship dah kluar, gi check cepat"

uh-uh..then only i remember about the scholarship. okay, my feelings were weird. i felt stupid and unhappy and scared at that moment..and i thought.."what on earth are you thinking?? scholarship?? and u think u're gonna get it??!"


just to make sure of this thought, i turned on the laptop but, the line was busy and i can't check the results. so that's that, i guess. i thought, why waste time waiting for the internet..definitely saye tak terpilih :(

cepat2 pgi mandi dan bersiap utk ke rumah pakcik saye for a small makan-makan. my mood was still unhappy though i didn't know the results.

On the way to my uncle's house...

received a text message from my fren again..

"asma, u dah check??"

"not yet, line's busy my dear..so later la, i'm on my way to my uncle's house ni, so xde internet :("

not long after dat...

my phone rang... it's her(my fren again)

"babe..erm i dah check kan for you"

"hah??!! how? mcm mane u blh check?? line bz kot"

"erm..i called jpa"

"oouhh..ok..so? cmne??"

"jap..u architecture kan syg?"

"yeah..."

"hehe..just to mke sure. erm babe sorry la u x dapat la..."

huh....i can't describe how i felt when she said this, i already knew that i'm not that good for this scholarship and i think it was silly of me to think i'm going to get this scholarship.ok, the conversation went on..

"never mind la hany, u still goin to UM, that's a good university okay..top kot kat malaysia, so don't be sad yeah"

"oh erm xpela, i know, takde rezeki kot, anyway thank u cz tolong i check.."

ok and there was silence... ...."hello??"

"oh my God!! Asma Hani!! c'mon la babe, what are u thinking?? HAHAHAH!!" (okay dia gelak gle evil kot tyme nih)

"huh? dee..why?" (and me as usual, blurr..cube utk figure out nape minah ni gelak evil sgt?)

"asma hani..weyh ko ni...ya Allah..syg, takkan la u x dapat??!! u dapat la!!"

ok this time around, i was speechless, and actually i was confused (ni dapat ke x sebenarnye? huh)

"asma..u there? babe congrats!! oh my God, i'm sooooo happy..u deserved it hany..i know from the very start that u're gonna get this scholarship...haniii?...hani??" ( ok saye mmg xtau nak cakap apa waktu nih..sgt2 terkejut )

"erm..yeah? i'm still here...ouh ok alhamdulillah..wait, huh..i still can't believe this"

"syg..u dpt la, i saje tipu u mula2....nk tgk ur reaction, u caye eh i ckp mula2 tu?"

"oh dee..bia btul ni?"

"oh my God asma! u GOT IT!! i sendiri call jpa, cz i x sabar sgt.heheh. and bila i call diorg mintak u nye ic number, then i bagi, then diorang tanye course apa..i ckp la architecture..and then diorg pun check kan, dia cakap tahniah dik, adik dapat scholarship ni, nanti tunggu surat dp kami ye.."

"oh dia cakap camtu?"

"yup. x caye lagi ke? sumpah u, i x tipu"

"haha..caye caye...God, x sangke...." ( waktu ni barula menjerit kegembiraan ) i was in the car, so everyone was like..hani apahal jerit2 nih? huhu..actually diorang xtau i was on the phone ckp psl scholarship.

that's how it went
the plan that God made for me, alhamdulillah
a few weeks later, jpa offer later came
TAHNIAH..bla..bla.blaaa..
SENI BINA :)
3 TAHUN
AUSTRALIA..
18 bulan
AUSMAT- uh-uh ausmat?? what's that?? macam penah dengar..hurmmmm
oh ausmat..yeap, heard of it once..erm, australian matriculation?
yes australian matriculation..sounds cool..haha..buttt...u guys know it well, no need details hah ;p

July 2008..my journey started in KBU international college
6 months bridging programme and it ended with IELTS.
2009...AUSMAT..a year full of tears and joy. i still can't believe i went through it..how torturing it was. but it was worth it. after 10 months of torture..i finally graduated succesfully. i must say, my TER score is not as high as the rest, but i'm truly glad and thankful :) alhamdulillah..
shortly after that, the university.. I got into the university of Adelaide :) my first choice
and i'll be flying in less than a month..

FLYING?? oh yess hani..u're going oversea..that's the plan

A plan that was not even in my mind back then..

and here i am, planning my life over there..it's a mixture of feelings.. i feel happy of course, and excited to an extent, getting to a new different environment. i'm afraid too cz i dnt know what to expect, and it's gonna be far far away from home..

it's true, we made the plan, but God decide for us.

and i hope and pray for the best.. :)

adelaide

ouh finally here it comes...

i must admit i never had this kind of feelings before
i can't describe it
maybe it's like waiting for a baby to come out..haha..though i have not experience that before
but lebih kurang cam tu la kan, resah gelisah, x boleh nak duduk diam.adoiii..nervous cam apa je.
everyday i woke up and the first thing bukannye mandi or breakfast but check mailbox :)
EVERYDAY..yup2 everyday menanti dengan penuh harapan.

and the day before, syery called, telling me that some of us already received calls from idp..huaa, rase takot cz i didnt get any call yet ;( so that was it. malam tu jugak, i thought, eh pegi je la idp, dekat je and can go straight ask them :)
ok so that's the plan. esk pgi idp and ask them :)

but as usual la, asma hani ketika cuti, xpernah nak bgun pagi~hehe
so petang la kan, wait for mama to send me off.
9.30 am-my phone start dah bunyi, all kinds of songs kluar, as if i can wake up..hahah..jgn harap, buat habes batery phone je ;p
anyways, after one hour or more phone tu membazirkan tenaganye, finally it stopped :)
ok..get back to sleep(dengan amannye :) )
not long after that, msg pulak masuk. hurmm..thought it was mama, so i said.. 'ok ma, hani bangun la ni, no need to waste money texting me..'
tapi bila tgk je kat screen phone..it wasn't MAMA, it's Natto
haaaaa~why would natto text me early in the morning, must be something..
forced myself to open my eyes and read the msg...here it comes..natto asked to check email.

I jumped out from bed trus menuju ke laptop and check my inbox..........
here it is...university of Adelaide :)
omg..omg..is this real? am i dreaming or what? pinch me someone
still blurr, took my phone and called natto, and yeay~ we got into the same uni
so there i was, smiling, alhamdulillah, i got what i want :)
and then just remember i haven't even brush my teeth and wash my face...hahaha

that was how it went, i'm glad, and i'm happy and sgt2 bersyukur
hopefully everything will be go on smoothly after this..visa and all
congrats to all, most of us got our top 3 choices..and let's just pray for the best...insyaallah
aussie here we come :)

...

...


life had its gleams of sunshine~



:)