studying for mock??

saye nak shopping!!~
when a shopaholic is being restricted from shopping, he or she will show a numerous symptoms which eventually can affect one's ability to concentrate, focus or even worsen one's health and sometimes leading to an emotional breakdown. Addiction to shopping is good as it increase aggregate spending, what we shopaholics try to do, is just to help to reduce economic fluctuations and especially, we want to generate the economy.


MOCK's coming in less than a week and everyone's focusing on their studies including myself. but i don't why i can't give full concentration to my studies for these couple of days. Perhaps, i'm just too nervous for the upcoming exam or i'm pretty sure it's due to my lack of shopping lately..hahah. truth to be told, the last time i shop was like in the middle of this year, which was in the past few months. great! i guess my dad's credit card bill was not that high lately.


back to the story, so, here i am, blogging, trying to pujuk myself not to go out shopping, trying to convince myself that study is more important this week n keep telling and promising to myself that i can shop whatever i want after mock exam. making a deal with myself; if i study hard, i get to shop harder too :D yeah c'mon gurl..just one more week till mock! then u can shop till u drop!


but it's not too easy though. eventhough i stay at home, trying to study, i keep thinking of One Utama, and the Curve and Pavillion and Sunway pyramid too and knowing the fact that every shop are having great sale now distracted me a lot. yeah i'm desperate now. whenever i calculate the initial vertical velocity or the torque, i'm thinking of high heels and cool wedges and those colourful sandals to suit my baju raya. and when i try to memorise the colour of transition metals, my mind project the image of those stylish, colourful, unforgettable, well-design tops. so tell me now, how do i study with all these on my mind at all time? i ended up online, googling for shoes and clothes and handbags. simply, i'm practically window-shopping and NOT studying!!


anyways, after several hours of online shopping...here's the result..






nine west collection

and they are on sale~so it's really affordable :D

happy studying everyone

and good luck for MOCK !!!

lizard alert

it was a good day for me..fasting, stay at home and delicious food for buke puasa...and i said to my sis, let's go for tarawih tonight and she agreed. we went with abah.
as usual we sat n waited for the tarawih prayers. it was all pretty calm and alhamdulillah i think i'm able to perform my prayer in a very peaceful mind and heart. but not for long though.

here's the story. as we were at the last two rakaat of the tarawih prayer, there was this tiny, no, not tiny...there was this brown creature in front of me, giving me a major heart attack!! LIZARD!! at first i thought i was having my usual eyesight problem. Standing up after sujud, i noticed the pattern on sejadah was moving and i ignored it. then only i saw a lizard was ON IT!!! and the lizard was moving around the sejadah. oh yeah of course i freaked out like hell but i CAN'T SHOUT, i'm praying..and i can't afford to run!! worst! where would i go if i run? everyone else are praying calmly and i can't shout, or i'll be causing a major chaos in the mosque. and of course i don't want to embarrass myself in front of everyone. by this time, i can't concentrete on my prayer anymore..(cicak buat aku x khusyuk semayang)..so i just stood still and wishing that the lizard won't come near me. but it did! it crossed in front of me and went inside kain telekung of the aunty in front of me. I freaked out again! I was like screaming loudly inside my heart.." makcik!!, ade cicak masuk kain makcik!! run! run for your life!!..yeah, i'm dramatic remember. I was wondering why the lizard would want to go inside somebody's telekung? it's a piece of cloth not a wall! so i assume that the lizard salah jalan since the telekung also is white in colour. but after the lizard realized he took a wrong road, he jump off from the white cloth and went off( i dnt exactly know where cz i didn't see it anymore) but deep inside i was still very afraid, in case the lizard went into my telekung next. huh! that was unforgettable.

on the way back, i was telling my father about the lizard incident with full enthusiasm and with all the screamings of yucks and ewwws and he smiled and calmly said to me.."ala, halau je cicak tu dgn kaki, dia kan kecik" "ye abah, it's small but it caused me a major heart attack and luckily i did not faint down.." and he just laughed. for the next few hours, my alertness level has increased tremendously, i kept looking down on the floor to make sure there's no lizard.. stupid!haha!
p/s: hope it's not too late,happy fasting to all muslim :D

i shouldn't

i never thought i feel this way. honestly. this isn't me. i am not like this and i wish i am never gonna be. what i've taught myself before, what daddy has taught me and what mum always said, everything seems to be pretty good at first. it were all good and i think, it still is. i shall never ever forget those. i listened to what they've said. often we heard, experiences are the best teacher in the world..well if it's true, i'm eager to meet this teacher, to seek knowledge from this teacher.teach me, guide me and lead me.

a lot has to be sacrified.and it's not as easy as we thought it would be.never. instead, it's much harder, not just the hurtful pain, but the drugs are terribly, awfully bitter.the ingredients of life are almost similar for each of us.it's the matter of how well we mix the ingredients.or how bad we did the mixing of it.we choose the colour, the taste and the texture of it. it solely depend on our preference, our needs and wants.whatever it is, it's our own life that we're messing up. but not for all, some are just perhaps greedy or envy with our mixtures, causing a catastrophe to our life. they throw away some of their unwanted ingredients into our mixtures.treating us like a garbage can with no feelings.

yes.i do forgive but i do not forget.sometimes i questioned, is this the repayment? of being thoughtful, of being tolerance? i must listen to those people, they're definitely right when it comes to this matter, as the saying goes.."world is cruel". it's undoubtedly true.

what have i done wrong? someone must answer this for me for i'm not perfect, i'm no good than the rest.correct me if i'm wrong, tell me the right way to do it or else i'll end up doing the same mistakes again and again. i'm still learning and forgive me for my mistakes. i pray for good things in life, i pray for forgiveness, i pray for God to give me strength for i'm weak, and most importantly, i pray for a happy life and afterlife. God is fair but they told me life isn't. i want to blame myself this time and i hate to accuse others. i've become embittered. the unfairness haunted my mind, challenge my belief, my stance, my principle.i'm annoyed and irritated. i never dare to question.as i'm afraid of the answers.give me some time and i shall find the truth, the anwers to all these riddles, even if it hurts me mostly.

blinded

i should never thought that
but hey, i can't help it okay



mama's right
he was innocent
and stupid..not stupid
naive.

at last
he came back
to reality


i wanted to slap him
yeap..to that extent honestly
but my words were enough i guess
with all the F's and those shits
finally he understood
and changed


but still as blind as before
he's still fooled
by those tanktops, perfect bodies
glossy lipgloss
thick make-ups and miniskirts

PLASTIC!!

please~
WHATEVER~
i dont give a damn to those shits

those shit ain't goin to give
any pleasure n happiness
you got from us
from mum and dad
kakak and abang
fellow cousins
and dear friends



thank God
now u can see us again
it's never too late
but this is a real hard game..
learn the rules
and you'll never regret



"padan muka.."
was the first word
came out from my lips
when u were very depress

i'm no more hypocrite to you
a tiny little sympathy was good enough
no more that that
i'm no good at it, i must admit
memories taught me
to be who i am today
in this game.

you're no more a romeo
or a prince charming to her
stop complaining
life's more than that

laziness

i hate packing up.especially when holiday's over.my clothes are all over the place.my room's a mess.i'm so damn lazy to pick them up and put into my bag.oh how i wish the mid-term break is longer.why can't they give us another week?just one.

i need more sleep.yes,definitely, even though i slept most of the time.
i need more shopping spree.there's just too much heels and bags nowadays.don't blame me.
i need time to prepare myself to face ausmat again.last 6 months was a total hell.how am i goin to face another half of ausmat?

Accepting the fact that holiday's over has made me feel sick.now i think i'm going to have fever again, so that i dnt have to go to college again.this reminds me of my chilhood time, when school's break over, the monday's early morning drama started. my dad would wake me up and i was terribly sad and keep asking my dad 'why do i have to go to school?' and 'why can't i have another day of holiday?' and then reluctantly i would go to the bathroom and cry until my eyes red.but no matter how red my eye was, my dad still sent me to school.the end.now i'm thinking of doing the same drama though i'm no more 7 year-old girl.

i'm going back to bu tonite.even though it's just 15-minutes drive away from my home, it feels as if my parent is going to send me to Africa. and that reminds me that i need to buy some groceries and abundant supply of nescafe.

Amar is creating noise pollution with his helicopter toy besides me that I can't think of any words to write anymore and there's enough crap. my clothes are calling me to get themselves into the black bag and yeah, it's time to pack up. hany get your lazy bum off the bed and turn off the laptop and get ready to get back to reality.

reunion, atuk's lecture and the nazs brother

my so-called holiday



All I can think is plenty of sleeping time..hahaha...yup2..it's the greatest plesure besides eating and shopping! finally i can rest my head and have a good rest, though it's only one week.





I didn't get the chance to go back to alor setar this time. Stayed at home and eat and sleep. And of course, one special ocassion that never miss out during school holidays; WEDDING! it's like a never-ending event. wedding of paklongs..pakngahs..paklangs..makteh mak itu mak ini and the list goes on and on. As for my mum's side, wedding of abang itu and abang ini and kakak..and all my cousins who are getting married..it's like an endless list of wedding. But anyways, I still have to go and face the kenduri-kendara and usually it takes more than a day. God!..susahnye nk buat wedding..sampai berhari-hari.

An appropriate and precise definition of wedding for my family is the family reunion, and not just a celebration of welcoming another new member to the family. It's the opportunity for everyone to gather and exchange stories...news..updating themselves. Common questions which are being asked during the 'gathering' includes.."yg ni anak sulung eh? knape nmpk laen skrg?"...."skrg study mana?"...."knape kakak nmpak mcm adik?"...."knapa ambik course tu?"..."knapa itu dan knapa ini?" urggh!! there's just too much hows and whys. Sometimes it really annoys me to answer all these questions from my aunts and uncles. And suprise, suprise..at this time of event also there's gonna be free lecture from atuk2 sedara dan nenek juge... the lecture's of course specially for us, the beloved cucu2. To begin with, recently, at my cousin's wedding, I met my atuk sedara and his wife whom I have not met for a few years. Then, guess what? as usual..the first few standard questions.."where are studying nw?...what course?...etc...and the final question.."do u have a boyfriend?" And i was shocked!! i mean why are they asking me that question.?? okay.. then silence was my only response. And he was like..."no..no..u must have one now!! u need to have a boyfriend!!...u've entered college, so right now u have to have one...." and fyi, he and his wife both are professor and the whole entire lecture has nothing at all associated with studies, instead it's about finding ur love!! And he even told me that bf is the first that u must look forward to once u went into uni..and that he said is one of the important task i need to complete besides getting a degree..or else I'll end up marrying an aussie guy. My nek then started to tell me her love story with atuk and how girls are supposed to jual mahal at first..it's funny how she told us about the guys she rejected and then my atuk warned me not to jual mahal sangat. ouch!!! i'm not ( ok atuk..i'll try ) Anyway, I should thank him for the lecture.

I got to meet my nephews and nieces too! It's almost one year or more since I last saw them and God, they're growing at a faster rate than I thought..haha. Being surrounded by them, unfortunately, made me feel old. And yeah..more suprise for me, there's 2 new babies!!..i'm getting more nieces and nephews. well most of them aged between 9 months and 5 years old and u can imagine how noisy it was. running here and there, climbing and some of them who just learnt to walk just can't sit still and moved around in the house. There's crying, and screaming and those unbearable noises..but still kids are kids. It's not that I'm not used to this, but it's just too many of them at one time. So, I, as so called 'aunty', have no choice but to entertain and babysit them..yup babysit, but not for long of course, i'm not that good with kids..hahah. But they're really cute and adorable. Here are some pictures of them...

and finally...

after 1 whole year, finally i met my long-lost bestfren, Nur Syazwani (wany, u should be proud cause i made this statement and write this post specially for you). I'm so happy that u've completed your one-year matriculation and cant wait to know which university u're goin to. wherever it is, i know you'll do well girl. and i'll always pray for u =D.

back to the main story here.
i'm extremely happy today, though the constant pressure of midterm is keep goin on in my head. Since last night I was excited. It's been a long time since I last met her. it's been one whole year. and today, we finally met. She's still the same old person i knew. happy, calm, and pleasant.
I went back today, and straight away shana picked me up. and there's wany too ( gosh! only god knows how happy i was at that time ). we went to pyramid. had big lunch at fish market and ate and ate and talked and laughed like crazy!! n gossiping tOO..hehehe ;p

she's planning to continue her study ( major biology )..sort of..i don't really know what field of biology..(my bio ****..ngahaha)anyways, gudluck to u wany, i know u love bio so much, unlike me.n later u can tell me how the baby eat inside mum's belly and u can tell me y i have so much gastric juice in my stomach n how those living things do whatever they do?all those bio thingy laaa ( i'm curious and i'm so damn lazy to study those..but still i wanna know ;D)
and as for shana, u're gonna tell us about those bacteria rite? i'm pretty sure it's interesting though. all of u are goin to study bout living things ( nature-lover ) while i'm goin to study about bricks and steel and structure ( me...against nature?? )

after makan, ( masih xnk bergerak dr tempat makan..hahaha )..so we spent almost like 3 hours kt situ..naseb baek x kene halau. then walked around the pyramid even though xde hala tujuan, walked and laughed and laughed ( again...but i felt really really happy )

thanks girls for the time.
really appreciate it.

and i really miss our old time
and the gedikness,
laughter,
the drama,
the fight,
the tears..