unwritten

i miss her
i miss him

i miss them
i miss everyone

and i miss you too..

makan lagi

Finally, i went back to my beloved kampung. oohh..how wonderful :)

sampai terus makan, though it was 12 midnight. petai bakar di malam hari~cannot find those in subang jaya kan ;p and not to be missed tok's sambal belacan.


The next day, cooking session started early, around 9! yup 9.00 am in the MORNING. Helping my mum and tok-tok with the dishes made me feel like i'm in the reality tv show, HELL'S KITCHEN..haha..everyone's rushing, here and there, masak nasi, gulai, menggoreng, memotong, merebus dan segala method of cooking. After 2 hours of cooking race in the kitchen, lunch's finally ready~yummy!! main menu..nasi, the famous gulai rebung, kerabu pelam tok su, and sambal belacan. one word to describe it PERFECT :) kalah mana2 set lunch kt luar sana.



Of course, not to be missed, pencuci mulut..tepung talam~how traditional kan..but oh heaven, i felt like crying~i cant remember the last time i ate those kueh mueh tradisional.
Beberapa jam kemudian..tadaaa~it's dinner time baby :) yummy~yummy again
Tok su said she only prepares murtabak but when we arrived, ho!! ho! ho!..the dining table was FULL of food..and durian too.what? how come suddenly ade durian nih? And it's not just durian, it's PULUT with DURIAN..yup :) typical kampung style~the best :)
I haven't eat durian for quite some time so that dinner was like the most wonderful night..haha poyo je bunyi~I ate a lot obviously. haha..no more malu2 or nak control makan lagi dah kt rumah orang, memang bantai habis la :)

After that went back home, and I can't sleep..too kenyang and my stomach seems to be a bit suprised of those unfamiliar food that went into it..haha.
The next day, I went out jalan2 with my family and again MAKAN :)
I must say living in alor setar is way better in terms of FOOD..damn cheap and damn GOOD,
seriously, sedap gle okayh..i dnt knw where else to find those kind of cheap-and-delicious food.
Whenever I think of food feels like planning to move there. I always imagine if we move there, eat and eat a lot everyday..hurmm..i think i maybe can't control myself, haha..i'll go crazy with the food and end up being fat..no! so, the conclusion is, i can't stay there, stay here in subang jaya where there is LESS food and LESS delicious food and LESS fats and calories. taknak la over sgt kan makan. ( and asma hani mmg x boleh cntrol makan klu mknan sume sedap2 gle okay :) )

Sunday.it was awish's birthday party and we gathered at cik's new house.guess i don't have to say it again..it's makan time :) hoorayyy~ so dapat la merase makan laksa pulak. yummy again and this time i ate a lot..lama kot x dapat mkn laksa. so that was it, me eating laksa sampai malam :)

it feels really good coming back to kampung.
spending time with my relatives
get some peacefullness
away from city
fresh air and the blue sky
green's everywhere
and not to be missed...
the food
:)

i'll be back again soon insyaallah~

as much as I can remember
the feelings were different
and now
I didn't expect this

it's too far from what I thought it would be


my wish
hopes
dreams...

let the fun begin

7.00 am
i heard my dad's voice..
"asma hani, bangun"
ok dad, what now? i dnt go to school anymore..i have no more classes to attend
"no..wake up, kate nak ikut pgi buat pasport" uh-uh forget bout dat.
So i woke up, reluctantly, leaving the best place in the whole world-my bed :D

8.30
Arrived at Imigresen Malaysia-Subang Jaya
and hundred of people already lining up. i thought there was an event or something but nope, people are lining up for pasport. c'mon people, it's early morning, go back to sleep ;p
well, actually i thought i'm the earliest person to arrive-haha..berangan je~sampai sana i'm like the 300th person. I was blurr at first, have no idea where to start and find the form. Luckily there's a few aunties and uncles helped me, telling me to get those form and lining up to get ur number. My dad didnt want to follow- he said i'm already 19, i dnt need him or mama to accompany me and said that i cant be a little girl anymore, i should do all that stuff alone, without anybody's help-yup he only dropped me off in front of the office :) thanks dad

the place was extremely packed especially those families, mums and dads and grannys and KIDS. yeah i forgot, it's school holiday, everyone's going for a vacation~ yup!! let the fun begin with the pasport..hahah...and guess how much FUN i had..waiting for my turn, from 9.00am to 3.oopm. Damn bored and it was very tiring. Thanks to i-dnt-know-whats-his-name, who exchanged his number. Apparently, he has to go for doctor's appointment first and afraid that he can't come back in time, so we exchanged number and i got to go earlier :D~thank God

seharian menunggu pasportku~balek tdo :)

studying for mock??

saye nak shopping!!~
when a shopaholic is being restricted from shopping, he or she will show a numerous symptoms which eventually can affect one's ability to concentrate, focus or even worsen one's health and sometimes leading to an emotional breakdown. Addiction to shopping is good as it increase aggregate spending, what we shopaholics try to do, is just to help to reduce economic fluctuations and especially, we want to generate the economy.


MOCK's coming in less than a week and everyone's focusing on their studies including myself. but i don't why i can't give full concentration to my studies for these couple of days. Perhaps, i'm just too nervous for the upcoming exam or i'm pretty sure it's due to my lack of shopping lately..hahah. truth to be told, the last time i shop was like in the middle of this year, which was in the past few months. great! i guess my dad's credit card bill was not that high lately.


back to the story, so, here i am, blogging, trying to pujuk myself not to go out shopping, trying to convince myself that study is more important this week n keep telling and promising to myself that i can shop whatever i want after mock exam. making a deal with myself; if i study hard, i get to shop harder too :D yeah c'mon gurl..just one more week till mock! then u can shop till u drop!


but it's not too easy though. eventhough i stay at home, trying to study, i keep thinking of One Utama, and the Curve and Pavillion and Sunway pyramid too and knowing the fact that every shop are having great sale now distracted me a lot. yeah i'm desperate now. whenever i calculate the initial vertical velocity or the torque, i'm thinking of high heels and cool wedges and those colourful sandals to suit my baju raya. and when i try to memorise the colour of transition metals, my mind project the image of those stylish, colourful, unforgettable, well-design tops. so tell me now, how do i study with all these on my mind at all time? i ended up online, googling for shoes and clothes and handbags. simply, i'm practically window-shopping and NOT studying!!


anyways, after several hours of online shopping...here's the result..






nine west collection

and they are on sale~so it's really affordable :D

happy studying everyone

and good luck for MOCK !!!

lizard alert

it was a good day for me..fasting, stay at home and delicious food for buke puasa...and i said to my sis, let's go for tarawih tonight and she agreed. we went with abah.
as usual we sat n waited for the tarawih prayers. it was all pretty calm and alhamdulillah i think i'm able to perform my prayer in a very peaceful mind and heart. but not for long though.

here's the story. as we were at the last two rakaat of the tarawih prayer, there was this tiny, no, not tiny...there was this brown creature in front of me, giving me a major heart attack!! LIZARD!! at first i thought i was having my usual eyesight problem. Standing up after sujud, i noticed the pattern on sejadah was moving and i ignored it. then only i saw a lizard was ON IT!!! and the lizard was moving around the sejadah. oh yeah of course i freaked out like hell but i CAN'T SHOUT, i'm praying..and i can't afford to run!! worst! where would i go if i run? everyone else are praying calmly and i can't shout, or i'll be causing a major chaos in the mosque. and of course i don't want to embarrass myself in front of everyone. by this time, i can't concentrete on my prayer anymore..(cicak buat aku x khusyuk semayang)..so i just stood still and wishing that the lizard won't come near me. but it did! it crossed in front of me and went inside kain telekung of the aunty in front of me. I freaked out again! I was like screaming loudly inside my heart.." makcik!!, ade cicak masuk kain makcik!! run! run for your life!!..yeah, i'm dramatic remember. I was wondering why the lizard would want to go inside somebody's telekung? it's a piece of cloth not a wall! so i assume that the lizard salah jalan since the telekung also is white in colour. but after the lizard realized he took a wrong road, he jump off from the white cloth and went off( i dnt exactly know where cz i didn't see it anymore) but deep inside i was still very afraid, in case the lizard went into my telekung next. huh! that was unforgettable.

on the way back, i was telling my father about the lizard incident with full enthusiasm and with all the screamings of yucks and ewwws and he smiled and calmly said to me.."ala, halau je cicak tu dgn kaki, dia kan kecik" "ye abah, it's small but it caused me a major heart attack and luckily i did not faint down.." and he just laughed. for the next few hours, my alertness level has increased tremendously, i kept looking down on the floor to make sure there's no lizard.. stupid!haha!
p/s: hope it's not too late,happy fasting to all muslim :D

i shouldn't

i never thought i feel this way. honestly. this isn't me. i am not like this and i wish i am never gonna be. what i've taught myself before, what daddy has taught me and what mum always said, everything seems to be pretty good at first. it were all good and i think, it still is. i shall never ever forget those. i listened to what they've said. often we heard, experiences are the best teacher in the world..well if it's true, i'm eager to meet this teacher, to seek knowledge from this teacher.teach me, guide me and lead me.

a lot has to be sacrified.and it's not as easy as we thought it would be.never. instead, it's much harder, not just the hurtful pain, but the drugs are terribly, awfully bitter.the ingredients of life are almost similar for each of us.it's the matter of how well we mix the ingredients.or how bad we did the mixing of it.we choose the colour, the taste and the texture of it. it solely depend on our preference, our needs and wants.whatever it is, it's our own life that we're messing up. but not for all, some are just perhaps greedy or envy with our mixtures, causing a catastrophe to our life. they throw away some of their unwanted ingredients into our mixtures.treating us like a garbage can with no feelings.

yes.i do forgive but i do not forget.sometimes i questioned, is this the repayment? of being thoughtful, of being tolerance? i must listen to those people, they're definitely right when it comes to this matter, as the saying goes.."world is cruel". it's undoubtedly true.

what have i done wrong? someone must answer this for me for i'm not perfect, i'm no good than the rest.correct me if i'm wrong, tell me the right way to do it or else i'll end up doing the same mistakes again and again. i'm still learning and forgive me for my mistakes. i pray for good things in life, i pray for forgiveness, i pray for God to give me strength for i'm weak, and most importantly, i pray for a happy life and afterlife. God is fair but they told me life isn't. i want to blame myself this time and i hate to accuse others. i've become embittered. the unfairness haunted my mind, challenge my belief, my stance, my principle.i'm annoyed and irritated. i never dare to question.as i'm afraid of the answers.give me some time and i shall find the truth, the anwers to all these riddles, even if it hurts me mostly.

blinded

i should never thought that
but hey, i can't help it okay



mama's right
he was innocent
and stupid..not stupid
naive.

at last
he came back
to reality


i wanted to slap him
yeap..to that extent honestly
but my words were enough i guess
with all the F's and those shits
finally he understood
and changed


but still as blind as before
he's still fooled
by those tanktops, perfect bodies
glossy lipgloss
thick make-ups and miniskirts

PLASTIC!!

please~
WHATEVER~
i dont give a damn to those shits

those shit ain't goin to give
any pleasure n happiness
you got from us
from mum and dad
kakak and abang
fellow cousins
and dear friends



thank God
now u can see us again
it's never too late
but this is a real hard game..
learn the rules
and you'll never regret



"padan muka.."
was the first word
came out from my lips
when u were very depress

i'm no more hypocrite to you
a tiny little sympathy was good enough
no more that that
i'm no good at it, i must admit
memories taught me
to be who i am today
in this game.

you're no more a romeo
or a prince charming to her
stop complaining
life's more than that

laziness

i hate packing up.especially when holiday's over.my clothes are all over the place.my room's a mess.i'm so damn lazy to pick them up and put into my bag.oh how i wish the mid-term break is longer.why can't they give us another week?just one.

i need more sleep.yes,definitely, even though i slept most of the time.
i need more shopping spree.there's just too much heels and bags nowadays.don't blame me.
i need time to prepare myself to face ausmat again.last 6 months was a total hell.how am i goin to face another half of ausmat?

Accepting the fact that holiday's over has made me feel sick.now i think i'm going to have fever again, so that i dnt have to go to college again.this reminds me of my chilhood time, when school's break over, the monday's early morning drama started. my dad would wake me up and i was terribly sad and keep asking my dad 'why do i have to go to school?' and 'why can't i have another day of holiday?' and then reluctantly i would go to the bathroom and cry until my eyes red.but no matter how red my eye was, my dad still sent me to school.the end.now i'm thinking of doing the same drama though i'm no more 7 year-old girl.

i'm going back to bu tonite.even though it's just 15-minutes drive away from my home, it feels as if my parent is going to send me to Africa. and that reminds me that i need to buy some groceries and abundant supply of nescafe.

Amar is creating noise pollution with his helicopter toy besides me that I can't think of any words to write anymore and there's enough crap. my clothes are calling me to get themselves into the black bag and yeah, it's time to pack up. hany get your lazy bum off the bed and turn off the laptop and get ready to get back to reality.

reunion, atuk's lecture and the nazs brother

my so-called holiday



All I can think is plenty of sleeping time..hahaha...yup2..it's the greatest plesure besides eating and shopping! finally i can rest my head and have a good rest, though it's only one week.





I didn't get the chance to go back to alor setar this time. Stayed at home and eat and sleep. And of course, one special ocassion that never miss out during school holidays; WEDDING! it's like a never-ending event. wedding of paklongs..pakngahs..paklangs..makteh mak itu mak ini and the list goes on and on. As for my mum's side, wedding of abang itu and abang ini and kakak..and all my cousins who are getting married..it's like an endless list of wedding. But anyways, I still have to go and face the kenduri-kendara and usually it takes more than a day. God!..susahnye nk buat wedding..sampai berhari-hari.

An appropriate and precise definition of wedding for my family is the family reunion, and not just a celebration of welcoming another new member to the family. It's the opportunity for everyone to gather and exchange stories...news..updating themselves. Common questions which are being asked during the 'gathering' includes.."yg ni anak sulung eh? knape nmpk laen skrg?"...."skrg study mana?"...."knape kakak nmpak mcm adik?"...."knapa ambik course tu?"..."knapa itu dan knapa ini?" urggh!! there's just too much hows and whys. Sometimes it really annoys me to answer all these questions from my aunts and uncles. And suprise, suprise..at this time of event also there's gonna be free lecture from atuk2 sedara dan nenek juge... the lecture's of course specially for us, the beloved cucu2. To begin with, recently, at my cousin's wedding, I met my atuk sedara and his wife whom I have not met for a few years. Then, guess what? as usual..the first few standard questions.."where are studying nw?...what course?...etc...and the final question.."do u have a boyfriend?" And i was shocked!! i mean why are they asking me that question.?? okay.. then silence was my only response. And he was like..."no..no..u must have one now!! u need to have a boyfriend!!...u've entered college, so right now u have to have one...." and fyi, he and his wife both are professor and the whole entire lecture has nothing at all associated with studies, instead it's about finding ur love!! And he even told me that bf is the first that u must look forward to once u went into uni..and that he said is one of the important task i need to complete besides getting a degree..or else I'll end up marrying an aussie guy. My nek then started to tell me her love story with atuk and how girls are supposed to jual mahal at first..it's funny how she told us about the guys she rejected and then my atuk warned me not to jual mahal sangat. ouch!!! i'm not ( ok atuk..i'll try ) Anyway, I should thank him for the lecture.

I got to meet my nephews and nieces too! It's almost one year or more since I last saw them and God, they're growing at a faster rate than I thought..haha. Being surrounded by them, unfortunately, made me feel old. And yeah..more suprise for me, there's 2 new babies!!..i'm getting more nieces and nephews. well most of them aged between 9 months and 5 years old and u can imagine how noisy it was. running here and there, climbing and some of them who just learnt to walk just can't sit still and moved around in the house. There's crying, and screaming and those unbearable noises..but still kids are kids. It's not that I'm not used to this, but it's just too many of them at one time. So, I, as so called 'aunty', have no choice but to entertain and babysit them..yup babysit, but not for long of course, i'm not that good with kids..hahah. But they're really cute and adorable. Here are some pictures of them...

and finally...

after 1 whole year, finally i met my long-lost bestfren, Nur Syazwani (wany, u should be proud cause i made this statement and write this post specially for you). I'm so happy that u've completed your one-year matriculation and cant wait to know which university u're goin to. wherever it is, i know you'll do well girl. and i'll always pray for u =D.

back to the main story here.
i'm extremely happy today, though the constant pressure of midterm is keep goin on in my head. Since last night I was excited. It's been a long time since I last met her. it's been one whole year. and today, we finally met. She's still the same old person i knew. happy, calm, and pleasant.
I went back today, and straight away shana picked me up. and there's wany too ( gosh! only god knows how happy i was at that time ). we went to pyramid. had big lunch at fish market and ate and ate and talked and laughed like crazy!! n gossiping tOO..hehehe ;p

she's planning to continue her study ( major biology )..sort of..i don't really know what field of biology..(my bio ****..ngahaha)anyways, gudluck to u wany, i know u love bio so much, unlike me.n later u can tell me how the baby eat inside mum's belly and u can tell me y i have so much gastric juice in my stomach n how those living things do whatever they do?all those bio thingy laaa ( i'm curious and i'm so damn lazy to study those..but still i wanna know ;D)
and as for shana, u're gonna tell us about those bacteria rite? i'm pretty sure it's interesting though. all of u are goin to study bout living things ( nature-lover ) while i'm goin to study about bricks and steel and structure ( me...against nature?? )

after makan, ( masih xnk bergerak dr tempat makan..hahaha )..so we spent almost like 3 hours kt situ..naseb baek x kene halau. then walked around the pyramid even though xde hala tujuan, walked and laughed and laughed ( again...but i felt really really happy )

thanks girls for the time.
really appreciate it.

and i really miss our old time
and the gedikness,
laughter,
the drama,
the fight,
the tears..

total crap

I'm suppose to study now, but can't help it. I feel like throwing the graphical calculator to my neighbour's dog even though the dog doesn't bother me at all. Or maybe I could throw the PHYSICS Cutnell book too, it's much more heavier so then I will be more satisfied. And after I throw it then I can calculate the projectile motion ( i should throw it from the balcony so that it will hit the target ) or maybe I could pour some oxalic acid into my coffee and calculate the concentration?

what's happening to me? I'm talking crap, excessive crap resulted from higher concentration of tests and assignments.

hani, get back to work!( reality check! )
mid term is just around the corner.
and u havent done ur so called persuasive speech
and study for physics test and econs too ( wht the..econs too? )

saye nk balek aloq setaq..huaaaaaaaaaa

:(

i miss them

"BUZZ"



wany: hey hany
hany: wany!!! where r u dear? finish ur exam?
wany: ya.wany kt rumah..dh hbs exam :D
hany: bestnyee..
wany: finally it's over


..that was wany..telling me that she had finished her one-year matrix in penang. Great rite? she's getting her results soon and in July she's gonna enter university for her degree!! OMG! i can't believe it. how time flies?
and i have not meet her for almost that duration..ONE year kot! oh dear wany i miss u so much!
now that you're free, i'm the one who stuck in college, with no holiday and endless studies. God! i'm jealous of u now..haha.






and last wednesday..during economics class,this appeared on my phone screen:


TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED from SHANA

'hey babe where are you? i miss u so much. i'm gonna sit for my finals next week. and after that i cuti. we can hang out together.'

oh shana dear.i miss u like hell.we haven't see each other for almost like 5 months.Gle lama.

we are both so busy.and i'm jealous of u too!! holiday fr almost 2 months.huaaaaa.nway, all the best for ur exams shana! i know u can do it! and dnt panic dear! i'll pray for u :D

and i miss my other 2 darlings, nur nadiah and nadhira.

hope u guys are in the pink of health.

to nadiah..Happy birthaday dear, wish u all the best, sesungguhnye kamu sudah tua..hehe.. and rmmbr, i love u! no matter what. thanks for ur support and advices.

to deera..i miss u a lot!! i know u're fine and happy as long as u're with him. love u too deera :D

hany, deera, shana, wany

beloved school ;p( gosh i miss this moment..gedik!! )

p/s: also another birthday wish to my beloved father, the greatest person of all. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABAH..WISH U

ALL the BEST.sorry i couldn't afford to buy you a new golf set or any RALPH LAUREN perfume this time around.

But I'll always love u! thanks dad!! We all love u very much :D

...

i'm not blind
i'm not deaf
and i'm not stupid

i do what i want
though sometimes i do care too much of what people think

i can see
i can hear
and i can think

i have feelings
like everyone else

i know
i realised
and i do care so much

i do what i think is right
even though
to others it's wrong


i'm sorry..

wake up

it's already april

wake up people!!

especially me!!

wake up HANI!!

reminder to myself: it's already april, quarter of a year had already gone. 7 months more of ausmat. wanna go aussie or not??

seriously girl..u need to wake up and sedar diri..HELLO!! WAKE UP!!!



it's really make me shocked and suprised and scared too when syery told me we're entering the month of april. i thought only last week that i celebrated the new year of 2009 then suddenly, dalam sekelip mata... it's already been three months. HUH!!


i should be studying now and doing maths and physics assignments but i'm not in the mood in doing all those. i knw it's wrong. i shouldn't have this attitude now. i want to be a good student too. like other people. but i cannot help it. to mama and abah, i did study and put my effort to get high marks but i need a break. u both know me well. i'm not the kind of person who would indulge myself in books especially academic books. i'd rather go shopping..(hehehe ;p). but of course i didnt go shopping la ryte now. study first then only i go shopping.

high school

high school girls?

gossiping? experimenting guys? love story or should we call it 'cinta monyet'..haha!!!

gedikness? bitch!!

gosh!! how i miss all those shit!

yeah it's all shit but

it's everything that revolved around our teenage world

things that spice up our life in high school

girls bitching around..

flirting...

so called BFFs slaping each others' face

so-called-hot guys showing off their baby-faced just to get girls' attention

bad guys gets good girls

hot girls gets hot guys

nerds never had a chance

bad guys VS nerds

good girls VS bitches

the principle and endless speech

popularity

lovey-dopey couple

break-ups

stealing each others' bf/gf-s..opps

BFFs

scandals

the drama

the cliques

backstabbers!!!

truth to be told..all these shits taught me a lot.

experience is learning.

i'm sure that all of us have been through our teenage life experience.

mostly are the same.

like what have I listed up there, it's common.

high school life.

and i miss it so much!!

birthdays

february babies

birthday girls and birthday boys...

one fact i've just discovered:

most of my friends and ex-schoolmate were born in the month of february.!

i only realised this when I received too many of all these birthday-reminders on myspace..friendster..etc

reminding me of my frens birthdaysss

yeah..of crse i cant remember all of them.

anyways, to all my frens, cousins, ex-schoolmates, frens here in KBU...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

i'm sorry that i did not personally wish to some of you..

seems like everyone was born in the month of february.

this include my 17-year-old sis. her birthday is on the 26th of FEB..

to ADIK, happy birthday!!

i wish u all the best :D

and oh yeah..sorry i didn't have much money to buy expensive present fr u

it's quite unfortunate that your birthday is close to mama's

so, i need to spend my money more on mama's present than yours

u do understand why is that right?~~~hehehe~~~

also to the most important person in my life,

MAMA

Happy Birthday Too!!

eventhough u're not one of those february babies but your birthday falls on the day after the last day of february

1st MARCH

so mama, u're the march baby

i'm trying my best to save my money to buy present for her

but..huh..dats pretty hard..

i'll try my best though

;p

newborn

newborn blog

21st Feb 2009

finally, i have my own private blog

after all, i decided to create this blog

i'm not into this idea of blogging before

i hate writing as a matter of fact

but blogging isn't writing

i don't hate blogging

i read people's blog

but i don't have one

so now here i am

writing my own blog

wasting my time

expressing my thoughts

feelings

dreams

......

more to come

i've just started ;p